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Cult Hub | October 1, 2014

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The day I saved the world from the Dark Side

The day I saved the world from the Dark Side
Jodie Burch

For those of you less geeky readers currently sat there thinking what is this Dark Side you speak of, then shame on you, shame on you! The Dark Side refers to the bad guys in Star Wars.
Given my geekiness, which probably explains why I am still single, I could not resist the opportunity to go and see the Padawan training school at the Empire Big Screen. What’s a Padawan? It’s a trainee Jedi. So off Gen and I went, took our seats away from the children and got settled in. However, something came over me when they asked who wanted to be a Padawan. Suddenly my arm was in the air and I was jumping out of my seat, all in the name of research I tell you! Next thing I know I have been picked to go up on stage, surrounded by children all under the age of 10. Thankfully, I am not much taller than the average kid so bar laughing at the sexual innuendos whilst they just looked confused, I didn’t stand out to much.

Jodie Fights the Dark Lord

The actors conducting the show were highly entertaining with a shameful plug for the Blu-Ray release of the Star Wars series. They kindly handed us light sabers so we could begin our training. I was a little bit disturbed that mine was red, a colour usually associated with the Dark Side. I was quickly told that this was clearly a sign. Thanks, even some random actors can apparently see what that old lady on the train saw too, pure evil. Not put off by this, I quickly learnt the moves with my fellow Padawan. Just after this, I spotted Darth Vader out of the corner of my eye. Was this cleverly staged or was I really going to have to save the world from the Dark Side with a £5.99 light saber and a bunch of kids to help me? Apparently, today was my day to be a hero.

Strangely enough, we all had to take him on one at a time. A little bit odd unless you are trying to control the population perhaps. After one child had to be removed and she was crying her eyes out, it was my turn. Stood there at 25 years old, face to face with what was basically a man in a costume, I was scared, very scared, I could be about to be shown up by a bunch of kids who had better moves than me. Apparently, Darth Vader didn’t take to kindly to the nervous laughter that escaped from me and took this as a sign of disrespect and the right time to strike me down with his light saber. But I ducked and I jumped. I moved to the left, I moved to the right. I flung my arms about like an idiot and somehow connected with his light saber. The result? My hand hurt. A lot. But I did it, I took on the Dark Lord (no Voldemort was not there) and I won.

So next time you feel the sun on your face and breathe in that fresh air, remember you have me to thank.

Author: Jodie Burch (12 Posts)